Waiting At The Crossroads

"First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are coming or going—when they leave and return from school—when they leave and return from dates—when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.”
-Ezra T. Benson

I am not a religious person so I had no idea who Ezra T. Benson was or where this quote came from. I heard it and fell in love with it because this is where I am right now, at a crossroads, in parenting. My kids are 11, 10 and 9 and it seems like overnight, they have grown into big kids. There are so many opinions, so many arguments and so many disagreements. I have my own opinions on how they should be raised intertwined with the very differing opinions of two other parents. Honestly, I feel like a glorified babysitter. I want to be there for my kids all the time. They expect me to be there all the time. I like to be expected to do this but it's hard with three kids going in three different directions. As overwhelming as it is, I love being a mother. 

I love being there when they are dismissed from school.

I love answering all the questions.

I love finding out the latest gossip about who did what.

I love knowing that they have someone there guiding them with homework.

I love seeing the happy smiles when they ace a test.

I love being there during the heartaches that come with developing friendships. 

I love shuttling them to all their extracurricular activities. 

I love being there when they nail the song they have been practicing.

I love being there when they shave a second off of their freestyle.

I love knowing that they feel secure because I am always around. 

I love being there. Just there. 

I have chosen to be a mother. I have chosen to be a step-mother. I have chosen all the insane amounts of worry that comes with these responsibilities.  I want to be able to do this until they are ready to go out on their own. I don't love the arguing and the headaches but it comes with parenting. I want to be able to do all of this again. I hope to one day be able to have more children. I am leaving it up to fate. 

I am at a crossroads and I am choosing to grow along with my children. I choose to be around as much as possible, even when they don't really want me to be around. They know I will always be there for them. They can count on me!

Sometimes Family Doesn't Understand

I have really hesitated on writing this post but after a comment from a sibling today, I am over it. Sometimes family just doesn't understand. Think I'm being obnoxious? Just read through these various statements I hear on a day to day basis:

"Not your kids, not your problem"

"Do you realize you are just helping people who are never going to appreciate what you are doing?"

"Let their mother figure out what to do with them"

"Your kid comes first"

"You are never going to get ahead in life if you continue in this relationship"

"Just leave them all and come live with me"

I'm sure there is more but these are the constants. Being in a blended family/step-family, whatever you want to call it, is difficult enough without unnecessary comments. I mean, we are 2 adults and 3 children trying to make something work that has a 60% failure rate. You would think that my family members would be supportive but nope, not them. Sometimes, I think back to see if there was something I said that bothered someone along the way but I didn't. I made a choice, a choice I am happy with. I've actually made many choices I am happy with. Our family life isn't always rainbows and sunshine but I am happy. I am happy as a mom of three (every child is the same to me). I am happy getting to spend summer vacation with all three. I am happy that we talk and laugh and love fiercely.

My choice of partner is widely criticized. Here is a man who has overcome many obstacles in life to be a college graduate, great father, loyal partner and incredible step-father. Above anything else, the incredible step-father part should be immensely appreciated by my family. Adrian is tough, extremely jealous and stubborn and JC has stepped up to the plate and parented him just like he does his biological children. He has been Adrian's father for the past five years. Has my family even whispered a thank you? Nope!

Nine years ago, I made the decision to become a single mother. It wasn't the smartest decision on my part but it was a decision I made. Five years ago, I decided to take a leap into a relationship with a man who had two small children. I have no regrets about this decision. I love my family. Sure we don't look alike or share the same genes but that doesn't make us any less of a family. We are a tight unit. I love each and everyone of them and I do this for me. It brings me great joy to be able to raise a family with JC and I know people will always criticize. I just wish it wouldn't be my family.

Spring Break 2016 Recap

Hello everyone! It's Monday and we are back to normal around here, kids in school, me blogging and JC at work. Last week, the kids were on spring break and usually that's a super fun time for us. Not this year. With the unnecessary state testing that starts this week, we (and most people I know) spent the break at home prepping for testing. I am totally against state standardized testing in our public schools but that's a topic for another day.

Back to our super mellow at-home spring break. We spent the first half of the week hanging out at home and going to checkups (pediatrician, dentist and optometrist) for Adrian. I had to schedule all appointments during the break because testing!!! Can't miss school in April....UGH!

All four foot four and 62 pounds of him are perfectly healthy!

No cavities! We also went to the optometrist for a 6 month checkup. I will have to go in detail on that appointment later this week. Please take your children to get their eyes checked people!!!

It was already Wednesday and I still had Valentine's Day decorations up. I didn't feel like putting up anything for Spring but all of a sudden this terrible mom guilt hit me. It was a boring vacation, we didn't have any Easter plans and I wasn't going to decorate......no way!!! I pulled out some Easter decorations and suddenly was in the mood for spring baking!

Meanwhile, everyone else just wanted to stay in pj's all day and watch Harry Potter. I am super excited for the Harry Potter phase since I actually read these books and watched all the movies. Love me some Harry Potter!

Tuesday and Thursday evenings were soccer as usual. Soccer is taken very seriously here in Miami, there are no breaks! Soccer is practiced year round!! 

After soccer, it was pizza time. We go to our local pizza place, The Big Cheese, at least once a week. The kids love it and it gives me one night out of making dinner!

Friday morning we were still bored at home so we decided to try dyeing eggs. We had never done this before and I didn't know that you were not supposed to peel the eggs (thanks for the commentary on Instagram folks!!). Let's just say we were not very successful. There's always next year!

The weather had been yucky all week but by Saturday morning, I couldn't take being at home anymore. I felt so bad for the kids so once Gian finished his music lesson we went to the Youth Fair. I've blogged about the Youth Fair before. it comes once a year in March and the kids love it!

My sister joined us this year. Also, since we are a big blended co-parenting family, Amberly and Gian's mom and her husband joined us also. If there is one thing I am proud of in my life is that we have been able to all do things together for the kids. I know they will look back and remember how all their parents were always around.

Honestly, the only real reason to deal with all the craziness at a fair is the fair food! I don't ride any rides and because of his most recent injury, neither does JC. The food more than makes up for it though!

I mean, come on, they had Frosted Flakes covered chicken on a stick!!!!!  It was delicious!

We usually make sure there are at least 4 kids with us at the fair. It makes riding rides even for the kids, everyone has a partner! This year, Ivanna couldn't make it so we took my sister's godson. 

The kids rode a lot of rides, including many adult rides. These are seriously brave kids. Last ride of the night was Adrian's favorite, Niagara Falls, a water ride!!

Sunday was Easter and we didn't have any plans. I did have create baskets for each of the kids with a board game (Pictionary, Rummikub and Quickcups), Peeps, a pair of water shoes and silly bunny glasses!

We played all the board games, watched another Harry Potter movie, ate Easter lunch (honey glazed ham, baked sweet  potatoes and sauteed asparagus) and ended our day with some fro-yo!!

Honestly, other than the weekend, the week itself was super boring. We will make up for it during summer though. The beach is calling our name!!

Also, we are on Snapchat as @ourblendedlife. Make sure to follow along!

5 Ways for Blended Families To Bond

Disclosure: This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc., and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #SnuggleUpMoments #CollectiveBias

Family bonding is hard. Blended family bonding is even harder. Blended families take a lot of effort to make work. Think about it, you are getting two family sub-units and asking everyone to get along. It takes work, lots of planning and lots of patience. I have read many books, articles and spoken to many other parents and found 5 ways that work for us.

Before anything else, I want to mention that it is very important to remember that bonding takes time. Remember, you are trying to introduce individuals with different personalities and asking them to get along. Patience is an extreme virtue in these situations. 

If you haven't read my blog before, let me introduce to you our blended family: 

When JC and I started dating almost five years ago, I already had a son, Adrian, and he had two children, Amberly and Gian. I also help raise my niece, Ivanna, so she is like a daughter to me and also part of our family.  When we first got everyone together, there was lots of crying (from me and JC) out of frustration. We could have easily given up but we kept at it. Today, along with all the children's other biological parents, we are one big supportive family. 

5 Ways For Blended Families To Bond

1. Communication is key. We have lots of open communication in our home. All members of the family are allowed to express how they feel in any given situation as long as it is done with respect. I feel that children need to be able to express themselves freely. There are days where they will be frustrated with each other or with us. I want to know about it. Also, communication amongst parents is extremely important. All the parents and grandparents in this relationship are able to speak to each other as needed. The children come first.

2. Travel together. This is so important to us. Whether we go out of town or have a staycation, vacations are a great bonding experience. From planning to experiences, there are opportunities to voice opinions, make decicions and bond. We, JC and I, take two vacations with the kids annually.

3. Play. Play is the easiest way for children to bond. We specifically plan park days where we just hang out and play together. This way they learn teamwork and social skills. They also get to see their parents at a juvenile level which I believe is important for children. 

4. Make friends with other blended families. Children need to feel safe and understood. We have noticed that since becoming friends with other blended families, our kids have really opened up. They see that there are others in their situation and that it's not so terrible. 

5. Snuggle. What do I mean by snuggle? I mean, sit on the couch and watch a movie together or just have a family hug session. Show affection to each other and make sure the children feel loved.

Creating everyday snuggle-up moments helps us bond. I added this to my list because one day as I was doing one of my many loads of laundry, I noticed the Snuggle® bear on my bottle of fabric conditioner and realized that we weren't showing that much affection to our children. It was a sudden spark of emotion that I felt, all from that adorable bear! I now keep a bottle of Snuggle® Ultra Blue Sparkle® fabric conditioner in my laundry for two reasons: one because it smells amazingly fresh and two, it reminds me to snuggle my kids!! While, I was shopping the other day, I also  noticed that Snuggle® made scent boosters and who wouldn't love an extra boost of fresh scent? I picked up a container in blue iris bliss® scent and now all my clothes and towels smell incredible! Snuggle® Ultra Blue Sparkle® fabric conditioner and blue iris bliss® Snuggle Scent Boosters® are better together just like families are better together!

Snuggle® laundry products are available at your local Sam's Club! During the month of March, there are exclusive savings for Sam's Club members on Snuggle® products!

Are you a Snuggle® lover looing for more opportunities to interact with the brand? Join the Snuggle Bear Den-it's FREE! Sign up, complete missions and be rewarded. Explore the site and update your profile so you can begin your first mission! 

5 Ways Blended Families Can Stay Connected

Disclosure: This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc., and its advertiser, Walmart Family Mobile. All opinions are mine alone.  #DataAndAMovie #CollectiveBias

Blended family life takes work. It's not easy managing 7 schedules (3 children and 4 parents) and lots of activities into 2 weekends a month. In order to have a smooth transition between homes, lots of communication and scheduling is involved. My main goal is that the three children are comfortable and feel safe, whether they are in our home or the other parent's homes. I like for everyone to always feel connected to each other. 

The most important way to feel connected to each other is to spend time together. Every other weekend, when we are all together, we make time for each other. We attend all extra curricular activities together, as a unit. We go to the park, we go to the movies, we play board games, everything together. JC and I do not plan a date night or attend anything that we can't all go together. We make sure to dedicate ourselves fully to our family.

When a couple splits, the children are always the ones that get the short end of the stick. All of a sudden, their lives change and their family structure changes. This is hard on children and can affect their schoolwork. One big way we stay connected, as a family, is to put education first. We are involved in every aspect of all three children's schooling, from uniforms to homework to extracurriculars. Adrian lives with us so helping him is easy but since Amberly and Gian lived most of the time with their mom, we have needed to get more creative. First, we always go over the week's schoolwork and homework when they come over. They always have computer work and we make sure that is completed before they go back to their mom's house. 

But what about during the week? They need help with their homework and JC came up with a great solution. Every night at 7:30pm, the kids log onto their computer at home and JC gets on his phone and they video chat. The kids know that their homework has to be completed by this time and while they are chatting, they ask JC questions and review for exams. This has helped the kids immensely. They are more prepared for school and they get to "see" each other every day!

Video chatting uses lots of data so we knew we needed to up our phone plan to accommodate this. While  we were strolling through Walmart the other day, we saw a sign for their Walmart Family Mobile Service and decided to check it out. 

After some research, we found out that we could get a newer phone (on rollback pricing, so under $100) and monthly service, that includes Unlimited Talk, Text & Data, which includes up to 10GB of 4GLTE, plus a free movie on VUDU every month, per line for $49.88. 

It's a great deal for us. It's a little cheaper than what we were paying previously and the service includes a movie every month.We watch lots of movies with the kids and this can really get expensive so a free movie every month rocks! We watched our first movie on our SmartTV and it was so easy. We can also watch the movies on our laptops or tablets. Convenience is everything for families!

JC purchased the Samsung Galaxy Core LTE Prime for only $79.92. Yup, a Samsung Galaxy for under $100!! It's tax refund time and a good time to upgrade your phone but spend your refund wisely. Spend some on a phone and use the rest for a family vacation!!

He is super excited to be able to chat tonight using his new phone!

Another way blended families can stay connected is to have a family hobby. Something everyone is interested in and can do together. Ours is flying kites. The kids really enjoy learning how to fly kites and it also gets them outside and playing which is super important to me!! Hobbies don't have to be expensive, the ultimate goal is to do something together. 

The kids also need to bond on their own. Four years ago, we introduced three very different children to each other and asked them to become siblings. Boy, has that been an adjustment!! They have argued, fought, ignored each other, annoyed each other, played together, defended each other and ultimately have learned to love each other. It's been a long process but now they consider each other siblings, not step-brothers and stepsisters but just "my brother" or "my sister."

Lastly, blended families can stay connected by communicating with each other. Keeping the lines of communication open builds trust and shows support. Al three kids know they can come talk to me about anything and I will be honest with my answer. They know I will listen openly without judgment. They need to feel secure and just listening helps more than you can just imagine. I am not here to judge any other parent, I'm here to help. I think this last piece of advice helps any family situation, not just blended families. Remember, that if you listen to your kids, without judgment, when they are young, they know they can trust you and they will come to you when they are older with way more serious problems that you are going to want to know about.  Keep those lines of communication open!!

Is your family a blended family? How does your family stay connected? 

Disclaimer: All prices for phones and plans included in this post are accurate as of the date of posting; however, these prices are subject to change. Please refer to  http://cbi.as/2n6q6 or your local Walmart for current pricing. 

Get To Know Us In 7 Pictures

I've given myself a little challenge. I've noticed some new readers lately (thank you so much!) and realized that I needed a re-introduction post. I wanted something different than just talking about myself (you can read that in The Girl page) so I decided to make it a little more fun. Now, in this post, you can get to know us, all of us, through pictures, seven to be exact. Why seven? I have no idea! It was the first number to pop into my head!!

Here we go!

{ONE}

Not your traditional storybook family here, we are a proud blended family! Pictured above, from left to right, there's me, Amberly, Gian, JC, Adrian and Ivanna. JC and I met in 2011 at work! When we met, I was already a mom to Adrian and he was a dad to Amberly and Gian. Ivanna is Adrian's cousin from his dad's side who I met when she was 2. She is being raised by her and Adrian's grandparents and I have pretty much taken her in as my own! 

{TWO}

We live in Miami, Florida. I was born and raised in Miami. All the kids were born here too. JC emigrated here from Cuba when he was eight and has been here ever since. We love living in Miami and honestly, cannot picture raising our family anywhere else!

{THREE}

These three are 9, 8 and 7 years old. Their birthdays are all at the end of the year (November 10, November 11 and December 27 to be exact. They get along 25% of the time and argue the other 75%, sounds like regular siblings to me!

{FOUR}

We are water junkies. Whether it be the pool, beach or a lake, we love hanging out by the water!

{FIVE}

We are BIG hometown team fans. We cheer for the Miami Heat, Miami Hurricanes, Miami Marlins and the Miami Dolphins. We are real fans too, no matter how many losing seasons our teams give us, we cheer for them!! 

{SIX}

We love Disney! We went on our first Disney cruise this year and then up to Magic kingdom in July. Disney World is always the best vacation spot for us!

{SEVEN}

Fourth of July is our family holiday. We have been together every Fourth of July since we became a family. We love all holidays but this one is it for me. I love our traditions of spending the day at the beach and then watching the most amazing fireworks at the Biltmore! I plan on continuing this tradition as long as possible!! Family Rule: The kids know that no matter where they are in the world, we are together on the 4th!!

This was quite the challenge because our family is so much more than these seven pictures but here you get a good idea of who our family is! Anything else you'd like to know, please feel free to comment below or email me!

A Day of Fun At Magic Kingdom

I love Magic Kingdom. It is honestly my favorite place in the whole world so on Day 2 of our vacation we headed out to Magic Kingdom. Now, we are late risers so by the time we saw this amazing sign, it was already noon!!

It was HOT HOT HOT in Magic Kingdom!!!

You have to do the castle in the background pic. Here is JC with the kids. I always get so teary-eyed when I see the castle. 

Since our kids are older (11,9,8 and 7) we have moved on the bigger kid rides at the park so our first stop was Splash Mountain. We had Fastpass for this ride so we skipped the 90 minute wait. 

I was the only person from our group who had ever been on Splash Mountain before so there was lots of excitement. Ivanna and Adrian sat in the front row, JC and Gian in the next one and then Amberly and I in the third.

Someone was terrified but ended up loving it! We all did!!

Onto the Big Thunder Mountain where the kids were tickled by the sign that read "Baths weekly!" 

We didn't have Fastpass for this ride but the wait wasn't too bad, about 25 minutes. There are lots of signs to read, memorabilia to look at and blasters to play with while you wait!

Then it was time for lunch and the Festival of Fantasy Parade which is at 3pm every day!!

I took this picture so JC could see what I was looking at all day. I kept asking him if he was having a good time and he kept saying "yes...why do you keep asking me?" Hmmm.....with a face like this, I wonder why. It's perfect for a meme like "A vikings excited face at Disney!" We made sure to get him an It's My Birthday pin so there was lots of birthday wishes headed his way!!

My girl Belle was up first in the parade!! This parade has ornate floats and incredible costumes. So colorful and fun!!

All the fun ends with probably the world's most famous couple: Mickey and Minnie!!!

Minnie's bows always rock!!!

After the parade, we made a beeline to Fantasyland, rode the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and then onto It's a Small World. There is no way you can go to Magic Kingdom and not ride It's a Small World. 

Belle's castle. I was so giddy with excitement!!

Every afternoon in Tomorrowland, there's a dance party with the cast from the Incredibles. Here are my kids doing the Macarena which was quickly followed by Watch Me Whip!! It was really col ot have Mr. and Mrs. Incredible and FroZone walking around dancing with the kids. 

Time for another mountain and the epic 2 hour wait that you can always expect at Space Mountain!!! It's so worth every minute of waiting!

Followed by everyone's favorite:Buzz Lightyear Space Rangers. Of course, JC ended up with the highest score!!

Can you tell they were over waiting in lines? It was just so HOT!!!

Silly faces always helps time go by faster!

So does pulling out a loose tooth apparently. Amberly is a barbarian I tell you!

I have always taken a picture with Zurg after the Buzz Lightyear ride and the kids were really into it!

By 8pm we were exhausted and so, so hot that we decided to skip the fireworks show and go back to the hotel. Thankfully, I packed our ponchos because it started raining as we were waiting for the ferry boat!!

Magic Kingdom was truly magical. I love all the new improvements they've made and we can't wait to go back!!