Second Chances Girl - a Miami family and lifestyle blog!: Just know, I am going to lie about how easy it is to be a step-parent!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Just know, I am going to lie about how easy it is to be a step-parent!

BLOG DARE:

Just know, I am going to lie about how easy it is to be a step-parent.

Being a step-parent is a joy. The children have really welcomed me as part of the family. We laugh and play and get-along wonderfully!

BIG FAT LIE!

To me, being a step-mother to a child is ten times harder than being their mother. I get eye-rolls, talking back, tons of ignoring, "Well, my mom says..", "Your not my mom!", and lots and lots of meanness. But to tell you the truth in having two stepkids, at least one likes me. 1-1 odds are not that bad! I was hoping that after a year and a half, the child would be adjusted and calm down but nope, still doesn't like me. Last weekend, he told me that he was going to tell his dad to get him a new stepmom because I was a mean lady. This was after I put him and Adrian on time-out for running around the pet store screaming. Oh yeah, super mean lady. I knew that JC had kids since Day 1 but I never imagined it being such a hard adjustment.

Any suggestions on how to make this work? Should I just let time take its course on it and maybe one day we will get along?

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10 comments:

  1. Hi Ida! Swinging by from The Blog Dare.... love your post :-)

    I've been a step-parent twice. It is difficult parenting a child that is not yours biologically, especially if their biological is involved in their life.

    The best piece of advice I can give you is this: love them. Love them, love them, love them. Remeber you are not their Mom, but you are a parent - an adult who loves them, wants what is best for them, wants to help raise them to fly the nest and be healthy, responsible adults with a minimum of damage, LOL. You can be their parent (one of them), you can be a confident, a champion for them, but you cannot be the woman who gave birth to them. But you can love them like you did.

    If you'd like to connect, you can find me at:
    http://asonguntothelord.blogspot.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/carrieisblessed
    https://twitter.com/CarrieisBlessed
    http://pinterest.com/CarriesBlessed/

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    1. Thank you so much Carrie! I'm going to have to wait it out on this one to see if our relationship ever gets better! Hopefully one day we can at least be friends.

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  2. All I can say is time. I was mean to my mother's husband...time helped. Only time and maturity. Good luck. Visiting from SITS.

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    1. Lol! I think most kids are mean to step-parents. Thanks!

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  3. I don't have any brilliant words of wisdom on this topic... (or any for that matter!!) I wish you the bet of luck though!! Thanks for stopping by today!

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    1. Thanks for coming by! Really loved your blog!

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  4. I have never been a step parent myself, but I do have a blended family (hubby is the step parent) and grew up having at least 4 step parents myself. I hate to be blunt but I don't think it ever gets better until the kids get older and can appreciate everything you did do for them, just hang in there, because if at least one likes you, you must be doing something right!
    www.mommysrambles.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for being blunt! Yes I am very lucky at least one likes me. I'll take that!

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  5. I'm one too. She happens to be living far away which might be a good thing? LOL! I didn't want to forget you. I'd love for you to share your favorite post on my blog:
    http://thewonderingbrain.blogspot.com/2013/03/show-off-your-blogger-skills-here.html#.UU6nTByG3kU

    Hope to see you there!!

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  6. Lots of challenges I know:( But remember "Mean parents raise great kids!" My skid once said to me "You're not my Mom" and I simply said, "Nope I'm not. I'm your StepMom so that means you need to do...." I don;t leave much room for those kinds of comments - if I hear "My Mom says....", then my response is "That's great. But here, we do this"... It does take time. It's been over 5 years for me and the challenges are still there - but you get into your groove. Time and patience - and truthfully - a ton of support from your spouse. And a ton of support from other Smoms:)))
    Hugs
    Leah

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