I'm Happy With Providing My Kids "Options"

Parenting choices are very personal. Everyone parents differently and has different ideas on how to raise their children. As long as your children are happy, respectful and well-adjusted, I say, continue raising them as you see fit. I often get criticized by how I have chosen to raise Adrian because I give him "freedom to choose." This is not the norm for Hispanic parents. Hispanics tend to want to dominate over their kids. "You do as I say" kind of mentality. That is how I was raised and I always said to myself, the day I have kids, I will provide choices.

I have always provided options for Adrian, ever since he was a baby. I put out two different choices and he decides on what he wants. This goes with clothing, food, sports, games, pretty much everything. I figure this has allowed him to learn how to make decisions and I still get to pick what I think is appropriate for him. For example, every morning for breakfast I ask him "Adrian, would you like a grilled cheese or eggs and toast?" This way he isn't having pizza (his preferred choice) for breakfast and I can make sure he eats breakfast (which is quite the task, he is not a breakfast person!)

I read this the other day and it just felt so right:

I don’t want my kids safe and comfortable. I want them BRAVE. I don’t want to teach them to see danger under every rock, avoiding anything hard or not guaranteed or risky. They are going to encounter a very broken world soon, and if they aren’t prepared to wade into difficult territory and contend for the kingdom against obstacles and tragedies and hardships, they are going to be terrible disciples.

I don’t want to be the reason my kids choose safety over courage. I hope I never hear them say, “Mom will freak out,” or “My parents will never agree to this.” May my fear not bind their purpose here. Scared moms raise scared kids. Brave moms raise brave kids. Real disciples raise real disciples.” 
― Jen Hatmaker

My ultimate parenting goal is to raise good citizens. I want to raise, kind, respectful, brave, assertive, productive members of society. I know that the things I am doing now will help my kids in the future, even if they think I am the most horrible mom on the planet. I do not expose them to things I feel are inappropriate but I also do not shield them from the world around them. They are not always by my side, I let them walk ahead and explore. Like in the quote above "I don’t want my kids safe and comfortable. I want them BRAVE. I don’t want to teach them to see danger under every rock, avoiding anything hard or not guaranteed or risky."  I encourage them to ride the scary ride, to stand in front of the class and present their project, to defend each other, to wear what they are comfortable in even if others don't like it and most importantly to ask questions!

They know they can ask me any question and I will answer as best I can. I've gotten everything from "What is gay?" to "Why is this person in my class so mean?" to "When can I have a girlfriend?" and "Why is your skin brown and ours is white?" Yup all those from children who are curious. I answer their questions honestly and in a way an 8 and 9 year old can understand. They won't always be little, so I let them be little. I don't believe in gender-specific roles so they have been raised to know that anyone can grow up to be whatever they want. I'm a stickler for good manners though so I better hear many "Please and thank-you's" along the way! I'm happy with providing options and freedom of choice. It's worked for us so far and will continue to be our parenting choice in the future!

10 Oh So True Quotes About Parenting

Lately, I've been having a hard time with this whole parenting thing. I usually go for the "provide your child with options" parenting-style but it's not as easy as it seems. Adrian is 7 and talks back ALL THE TIME. He knows everything. I am always wrong. It's like raising a mini-teenager. Honestly, I am a little scared for the teenage years if its like this at 7. After a whole afternoon or arguing and fighting with him about homework, watching TV, taking a bath or going to bed, I lay in bed and cry out my frustrations. Everyone around me has a say about how I am raising him ("You need to be tougher or he is going to run all over you" type of nonsense) and all I really want is a bottle of wine and some chocolate cake. Like really, that's it. I know I have to be up the next morning for the same craziness, just give me my wine and cake!!

Sometimes, late at night, when I can't sleep since I am up thinking about one of our more recent arguments, I will grab my laptop and type "funny quotes about parenting" into Google. I love to read quotes. I get really inspired by them and these funny ones have really helped me relax. I've realized I'm going to need lots of laughs to get through age 7 (and maybe 8 and 9)! Today, I'm going to share my favorites with you:

1. "The only things kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents! "

~John J. Plomp

 2. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

~ Lane Olinhouse

3. “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”

~ Franklin P. Jones

4. “Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.”

~ Ed Asner

5. “My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

~ Erma Bombeck

6. “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children.’”

~ Susan Savannah

7. "You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation" 

~Unknown

8. "I think we're seeing in working mothers a change from "Thank God it's Friday" to "Thank God it's Monday. If any working mother has not experienced this feeling, her children are not adolescent."

~Ann Diehl

9. "Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

~Unknown

10. Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires.

~Marlene Cox