Second Chances Girl - a Miami family and lifestyle blog!: Not In Our House!

Friday, June 28, 2013

Not In Our House!

Adrian: Mommy, did you know that the Ninja Turtles wear different color masks and they are brothers?
Me: Yes
Adrian: Did you know me and Tito (Gian's nickname) have different color eyes and we are brothers?
Me: Yes I do!

Adrian is 6. He can see that even though cartoon characters have different features, they can still be considered family. He sees nothing wrong with them having different features. Just like he doesn't see that he and his step-brother having different features makes them any less of a family.

Amberly: How come you have darker skin than me?
Me: Well, you have the same skin tone as your mom.....
Amberly: Oh and Adrian's is like yours!
Me: Yup! 
Amberly: That's cool!

Amberly is 7. I'm sure this was something she had been wondering for a while and just asked. I answered and she was OK with it. She looks like her mom and Adrian looks like me!

These children see differences but it is not a big deal to them. I make a conscious effort to teach them that just because someone looks different from you, doesn't mean they are bad or evil. Racism is not an inherited trait, children learn to be racists and to discriminate against others.

I believe that living in a metropolitan city, like Miami, where there are so many different nationalities and cultures represented, helps children to be exposed to variety. It helped me. I have been to other cities in the US and been discriminated against for my skin color, for speaking Spanish, etc. It doesn't feel good to be discriminated against and I would never want any of my kids to behave in such a disgusting manner. Ultimately, it isn't the city you are raised in or what you read, parents are a child's main teacher and it is up to parents to not teach their children intolerance, hate and to discriminate.

Definition of Racism from Wikipedia:
"Racism is usually defined as views, practices and actions reflecting the belief that humanity is divided into distinct biological groups called races and that members of a certain race share certain attributes which make that group as a whole less desirable, more desirable, inferior, or superior. "

Racism is learned, not inherited and it is not taught in our house!!!!!


  1. I love this post! Great job on teaching them the importance of not seeing skin color! Great job Mom!

  2. What a fantastic -- and totally matter of fact -- way of handling this. Good for you for teaching (subtly) that family comes in all shades. Important lesson. So simply taught. BTW, we're stopping by from SITS. Happy SITS Day! -- Norine and Jessica of Science of Parenthood.

  3. Love it!!! I'm teaching my two the same things.

  4. Amen!

    We recently went thru this discussion at our house when my 4 yo announced that her best friend (who is African American) has "different skin" than she does. She followed it by saying "Did you know there are people who don't like brown skin?"

    I was shocked to be hearing this at age 4. So we had a lovely conversation about how God makes everyone, and people come in all sizes, shapes, and colors, and "isn't it just beautiful?"

    Having my own child convinces me more than ever that racism is TAUGHT, and we as parents have to make a conscious effort to teach good values, in everything.

    Whew! sorry for such a long comment!

    {{ stopping by from SITS }}

  5. LOVE this post!! Racism is definitely a LEARNED trait! And I don't think a lot of parents realize just how smart their children are and that they are watching everything we do and say! Kudo's to you for handling such a sensitive subject with grace.

  6. I just love everything about this post! I can tell just from this how great of a mom you are!

    Happy SITS Day!!

  7. I love the way you handled the questions. And, as you said, the really cool thing is that the kids recognize that there are differences but it's no big deal. You are setting a great example for all your children! Happy SITS Day!!



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